lines from a story that i havent written yet and probably never will (part 5)

He looked at the sky incredulously, as if I had just insulted his family and after looking away for a moment he turned and looked right at me with a frightening ferocity in his quivering voice and said, “What it’s going to take?  For someone to come along and kick the memory of your dead father in the teeth to prove he was wrong?  To prove he was broken just like everyone else?  To show you that his disappointment was not the final verdict on who you are as a person?”

His intensity kept me from moving though I wanted to run, to disappear again into the dark corners of my memory, choking back the sound of pain building in my chest and moving into my throat.  But I was immobilized by the sudden awareness of his hands on my shoulders as well as the love in his eyes when he said, “Listen to me when I say this, because you will never hear a more true statement: You!  Are not!  A disappointment!”

friday night lights. southlake carroll at midland lee. misty, windy, 55. perfect.

im sick of the sorrow
im sick of the pain
im sick of hearing
again and again
that theres never gonna be
peace on earth

it may be clinical, but im self medicating for now

im looking for something

and a way to describe it

but all i have is an empty throbbing sorrow

and no words seem adequate

im waiting for something

and a way to deny it

but all i have is an hollow aching knowledge

and no way to elaborate

u2 just dropped songs of innocence for free on itunes. this is a very good day.

quietly wandering..

and still, three weeks later…

it hurt when he moved

when he got up or walked around

when he propped up his feet

even when he slept.

the loss was breaking him

in the silence of midnight

as he lay awake all alone

and wondered just how

it would ever get better.

it hurt when he breathed

when he heard that one song

when he passed by the bridge

where they had met.

in the waning sunshine

as he drove home all alone

and wondered just how

it would ever get better.

headed over a pass above the rio grand on texas fm 170

a weekend in the big bend
a weekend in the big bend
a weekend in the big bend
a weekend in the big bend
a weekend in the big bend
a weekend in the big bend
a weekend in the big bend
a weekend in the big bend
a weekend in the big bend
a weekend in the big bend

a weekend in the big bend

four sunsets in big bend country
four sunsets in big bend country
four sunsets in big bend country
four sunsets in big bend country

four sunsets in big bend country